This blog I initially started two years ago but I never put it online. I just started my journey inside and I was not clear of why I wanted to have a blog in the first place. It felt like I was too proud of what I am doing and it would have been just a big Ego trip. So I left it as it was and just focused on the things I believe in and tried to live my life accordingly. In the years before I got familiar with mediation (Osho – The Tantra Vision vol. 1, Osho – The Tantra Vision vol. 2) and I made this part of my daily life. Next to that I took with me a few books that would help me as a reminder or that I could use whenever I felt I needed some support (e.g. The power of Now – Eckhart Tolle). After roughly about one year on my journey I thought I was aware enough that I could do without my books so I gave them away. And because of this mindset, looking back now, my daily routine of meditation, observing myself, slowly became a less integrated part of my life. I got distracted……
Now, because of my reality check and trying to get back on track, I decided to do a couple of things.
First of all observing myself by making time for myself everyday, looking as a silent witness at my mind, emotions and body.
The next important thing I realized is that I couldn’t or I didn’t express myself and my believes anymore. Mainly because in the first years of me becoming interested in these things I tried to convince people and hardly anyone was interested. Of course my motives and awareness were all over the place so it is no surprise that I got frustrated there . In the last year I completely stopped expressing myself because even the ones who were closest to me I didn’t connect with and it felt like I bothered them, so I left them alone. Still ‘I’ have a need for expressing myself, somehow get my experiences out there and also a need for confirmation, to be honest.
Another reason for this blog is that ever since I have been on this journey and I was looking in books or on the internet for some guidance I only found people (masters, teachers, coaches, gurus) that somehow already seemed to be arrived and have experienced it all. Listening to their stories and advice gave me a lot of times the feeling that I still have a loooong way to go and that sometimes discouraged me. So I thought I am not gonna write about my journey after I realized something, anything (if ever) but NOW. I am quit sure there are people out there who are facing the same challenges and although I know it’s a journey everybody has to do alone it’s sometimes nice to know that I am not alone.
Last but not least I made it a habit to start my day with an inspirational peace of wisdom so it reminds me that with a bit of awareness everyday is a new day in a New World.