Let me start by introducing myself; My name is Vincent, 41 years ago born in the Netherlands. The last few months I started this blog, already feeling that there is something in me that needs to come out. Although I shared with you bits and pieces of my real life combined with wisdom I strongly relate to, I decided it is time to share my experiences with you. Not someone else’s experience or someone else’s wisdom, but my real life……
I have had a very exciting two and a half years behind me, breaking with my old life and breaking out of society. The ultimate goal was to find myself by trying to live in the here and now, helping people and live without working for money but just for bed and food. For a while I thought I found myself, I figured it all out and this is how I want to live. My basic state has been one of happiness, feeling free, no worries and just enjoy. Life was really good to me and sometimes it felt like life couldn’t be any better…………. can you feel the but coming ;)………….
But…… of course, as always, things happened in my life that really affected me. I got hurt by people who are the most important to me. The worst thing of it all, I started to hurt back. Suddenly I wasn’t so Zen anymore, I was confused and lost. Luckily my fundament of awareness and believe in myself is pretty good so for the last few months I found myself in an average happy state but restless. I noticed that I started to smoke more. And when I had a chance to have some beers they became many at once…..again…… Which resulted in , for me hardly noticeable, a breaking down of my happiness. Well hardly noticeable…… So yeah, I felt that I needed to be active again in finding what is wrong. Why do I have this destructive behavior? Why am I so restless, I have the perfect life right? Why isn’t meditation enough? Why isn’t just living day by day enough? Why isn’t just being me good enough? Is there something wrong at all? I am still most of the time happy so what’s going on……..?
So as you know I am a huge fan of Osho and have implemented a lot of his philosophy in my life. This gave me a great insight in who I am and a lot more. So I started to look for help, I needed someone who at least could understand what I am going through. I needed some practical tools, reflection maybe some coaching. Googling I found a couple who run a school for Tantra. They offer a wide range of Tantra workshops and courses. I mentioned this already here.
Now, I am more then a week here in Liechtenstein and I am living with Martin and Maria and their son in a beautiful house. The first week I was told to just relax. It was about getting to know each other and I didn’t have to do anything, just help a bit in the house with cleaning and cooking, just like in any other household. This week was already more revealing to me then I could have ever expected.
The main thing I realized this week is that knowing myself is a nice start, but living my life, living Vincent is my next step. I will share more with you this week how I came to this insight without even having had one class or workshop or whatsoever about Tantra (at least not as I envisioned it two weeks ago). It is a key understanding I want to write about in a separate post, so stay tuned.
The other thing that you can expect this week will be about last Friday when I had my first active breathing meditation session which was also a break through. Again this deserves a separate post but I assure you that this technique is key for everyone to experience your energy, experience your blockages and release them.
I welcome you to join my journey and hope you also share with me your experiences. I know one thing for a long time already and I am living it as much as possible. There is only one thing that is really important and that is love and understanding. The world needs more love, intimacy and understanding.