The first week

Hey fellow travelers!

It’s been a really interesting week and a half so far. 12 days ago I left Spain to go to Liechtenstein. Driven by a force in me that was in desperate need for some sense in this madness. A few weeks before I left I found this website International School of Tantra and I knew I had to do something with it. I contacted them and they offered me to live with them in Liechtenstein to give me the opportunity to learn about Tantra/myself and in exchange I work for them, so today I would like to share with you what happened so far.

You can imagine going to a new country, to live with new people with an alternative lifestyle the mind has a lot of opportunities to go doing what it is doing best …..creating expectations. Although I am pretty good at being aware of that and minimize it by just living day by day and see what is coming, I have to admit I had some mental images of how it would be. Living with ‘spiritual’ people who have been living, practicing and teaching Tantra all over the world for about 20 years gave me the image of living with enlightened people with no worries, love & peace. Images of some kind of an ashram where people live in a community and meditate, dance and sing all day.  Also a few people were asking me are you going to walk around naked all day and indulge in sex orgies, lol …….

Well, from the moment I arrived here it was none of that. Martin & Maria live a seemingly ‘normal’ life, in an ‘average’ house in Liechtenstein, raising a 16 year old. Well, I have to admit they are happy people and laugh a lot but on the surface they are just like you and me, humans lol. I was told for the first week not do anything and just go with the family life and get to know each other. Obviously we spoke a lot about life. Most of the time I spoke with Martin. I needed to find out whom I was dealing with; Could he really help me, what is his background, philosophy? Of course I wanted to show him how ‘far’ I am and who I really am. This lead to a few interesting things he said which I didn’t expect. The things he said over and over again: “Tantra is dead, is nothing, I am interested in you and what do you want”, and “I am not interested in teaching you spirituality, I am interested in Vincent and what he wants to become”. Well, I got a bit confused and annoyed by that because I think I already see who I am and want to live in the here and now and just BE. Works great no goals or ambition for the future, no expectations leads to being in the present moment and like many mystics say, that’s all you need to be happy. So this guy tells we what do you want to become…….??? So going back and forth like this for a few days at the end Martin told me this is not gonna work. He couldn’t help me cause if I don’t want to become anything then now is perfect so no help is needed…………. ok, this got me back on earth and realized that I needed some time on my own and started walking in the beautiful forest mountains here……..

To keep a long story short, I realized what he was saying. I have to be me and start living me, whatever that maybe. So I asked myself the question what do I want to become that I can’t do myself? This question has two answers. First I want to become a person who is free from his past ‘hurts’ to become completely free, alive and loving. The second answer is not so easy. Who do I want to become or what do I have to do with my life? Well that answer is still in progress I’ll get back to that later. The main thing is that I know I’ve had many ‘hurt’ moments in my life, which I nicely put away in a little box far far away. My life the past years have been tremendously happy, I dare to say 99% of the time, but the 1% the little boxes are being touched life becomes very hard and difficult. I can still deal with it but they keep showing up when I least want it. So yes  I need some help with that cause wouldn’t it be great if I were 100% of the time blissful? That’s my first mission………

so I stayed… 🙂

Last Friday I had my first active breathing meditation, which I  will share with you in my next post, and how this gave me a great insight.

The whole idea with this blog for the next few weeks is 1) share with you what I am going through and 2) share with you my vision, wisdom, knowledge and everything that I’ve learned during my whole life. Why? Cause if it only helps one more person then this world is already a better place to live in, if it helps all 7,4 Billion of us then it would be paradise 😉

With Love,

Vince

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12 Comments Add yours

  1. Sounds like you are exactly where you are meant to be. I really like the family you are with, especially the man, asking you to seek within yourself what you want. Seems like you are starting to unearth some tings that will lead to an awakening…maybe opening one of those boxes? Can’t wait to read more…

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  2. Sometimes it makes sense not to bother asking and just live how you want to feel. Thanks for visiting and liking Undercover.

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    1. Hello Karina, yes, if you are happy, you are happy, no need to do anything. That was my last two and half years. I stopped looking and tried just to be aware every moment and enjoy. Worked very good. Like I said, I dare to say I was 99% of the time happy. For me it is now time to work on that 1%, and be completely free.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I would be very curious how you do that.

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        1. How I do what?

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Succeed in being 100% free

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Be patient, I will share it here with you 😉 If you have any questions about how I got to the other 99%, let me know, cause it is not that hard. Have a nice day, enjoy life!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Eleanor says:

    No blame, forgiveness, understanding, acceptance.
    These are what opened the little boxes and made them fly away.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Although I am a person who likes to ‘just be’ I am also someone who needs to be constantly learning, studying and picking up new knowledge to answer questions I have about myself and the world/universe. I suggest you just go with it, Vince, you may be surprised at the outcome. The answer to Martin’s questions will probably sneak up on you without warning when the time is right for you to hear, listen and act.

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  5. Really lovely post and got me thinking too. What is it that we want from life, what is it that we want to be. What do we want to mean to ourselves and the next person. Well done for staying and preservering, you went there for a reason and maybe your spirit drew you to those lovely people 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Elize, really interested in what answers you already found to the questions you ask, did you find any? Enjoy your day.

      Liked by 1 person

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