A few years ago I knew I had to change something. I had everything, I traveled the world and had a pretty okay career and I had a ‘great’ life, but to be honest, I was not happy. During my sabbaticals I had the first glimpses of freedom but for some reason I always went back to society. While becoming bit by bit more aware of the outer world and my inner world, I slowly started to get rid of the ‘golden’ chains and started to break out of the conventional way of what we call ‘living’.
First I just left my job and started to try to be more and more aware in the here and now. In the meanwhile I started to see the outer world for what it is. Our system, a modern western society, based on democracy, money, competition, materialism, entertainment and so on. I felt somehow deep inside that this is not what I am here for. It felt as if I signed up for for something, the moment I was born, without knowing what I signed up for and with whom I made the contract. I felt like I had been living my life on the borders of this contract. Spending my energy on what I was supposed to do according to the contract and so every now and then I just ignored it, took a sabbatical and traveled the world. But this invisible contract was so powerful that I always came back and tried to be a law abiding citizen.
After spending a lot of time discovering the world and what is out there, I finally realized that it didn’t matter where I went, what I did, what I gained or what I achieved. I started to look inside and study myself. Who am I, why do I behave like I behave, what is it that I desire? Slowly, I became aware and by becoming more and more aware all my chains to the contract slowly started to disappear. There is no contract……..
I decided to close the door behind me literally and step out of this silly game. I was ánd am far from enlightenment, don’t get me wrong. I just needed to break out to walk my own path of self awareness.
I made some extreme decisions:
- I started to try to live in the here and now. Where the past is dead, the future is not real, it is just an infinite amount of possibilities, and the present moment is the only true moment there is. (read: I understand the concept, totally believe in it but still it is hard to live it)
- By law of nature I don’t own anything, so everything I ‘owned’ I gave away. All my possessions (including money) except for a backpack with some clothes and my good old laptop.
- I didn’t want to work for money anymore but I don’t mind working. So I decided to just help people in exchange for the basics: Food and a bed to sleep in. I don’t denounce money, just don’t want to focus on it at all but when I get it I just use it.
- I am trying to say yes to everything, to what is given to me and whatever is coming on my path. Because life is precious and every single moment just happens and never comes back. It would be a waste to miss it.
- I am trying not to control anything I just let life decide for me where it takes me (again, the concept simple to understand…… living it …. is a complete different story 😉 )
- I take responsibility for whatever happens as a consequence of my choices.
- I just want to give and expect nothing in return…. (it’s getting boring but also for this one….. I am working on it 😉 )
- And last but not least I would like to become completely free, loving and aware.
Now two years and two months later I learned a lot and would like to share it with the world. I am not a master, a guru nor a teacher. I am an individual on my way trying to find my true nature, love, freedom and to become a completely integrated human being who can enjoy the beauty of every moment, anywhere in any given situation. These two years where the happiest of my life so far (and I already had a pretty happy life), almost always in nature, no worries about tomorrow, loads of time to meditate and just felt a steady under current of happiness. I have seen glimpses of the true nature of freedom, I have seen glimpses of the true nature of love and these glimpses where showing me the true nature of me. But ……… although it seems a nice story, as you will find out, I am still not different than you….. just figuring out…..
That’s why I started this website. Because we are all in the same jourey and have the same challenges and I already experienced that by becoming more aware about the world we live in it is becoming more beautiful. So if we all become a little bit more aware of who we are and why we are here, I strongly believe we wake up everyday in a New World!
PS: This is a fully non-profit initiative, all the links that I post (e.g. book links) are actually website where you can directly read the stuff I am talking about 😉 )
If links are not working (anymore) please let me know at zorbadabuddha1 @ gmail.com (minus the spaces around the @)