Do you ever feel lonely? by Sascha Jort

As you know, so now and then I re-blog things that I can really relate with. And I am sure most of you can relate to this one. Do you ever feel lonely?

Do you every feel lonely – Sascha Jort

Do you ever feel lonely?

Sometimes I feel as if I am air. I feel like people know that I’m there, but they don’t see me.

I think a lot of people today suffer from this belief, that they are not seen for whom they are.

Sometimes I feel like it requires more energy than I have, for me to try to make people see and understand me. I’m introverted, maybe that has something to do with it, but I don’t really think that’s why. It’s not easy showing the core of who you are to a society that is so judgemental as it is. That is what anxiety comes from. Worrying about what other people think of you, to the degree that you’re pleasing everyone around you as an attempt to fit in, trying to feel a connection.

 

I’m a big believer that the ones on this earth right now that has a feeling of not fitting in, is because they are here to do something different, they are here to create a new society. One that has no standards of when a person is good enough, a society where people do not feel the need to put on a mask in order to be accepted. A society where people aren’t isolated because of the fact that they can’t seem to connect with others on a deeper level, because they don’t believe that it’s okay to be just who they are.

I am one of those people. I feel lonely. I feel isolated.

Yesterday I returned from a vacation in Miami with my family. Even though it was an amazing trip, I was continually put in a situation where I felt absolutely like air, not by my family, but of outer circumstances. An example was a waiter bringing me and my sister our food. We had ordered the exact same dish and the waiter looks at my sister and says ”be careful, the plate is very hot” smiles to her and then walks away. This might seem like a tiny thing, but it continued to happen, and it continued to bother and upset me.
At some point I felt like I was surrounded by glass walls, I could look at everyone around me and they could look at me too, but they didn’t see me, I was just there. The same thing when I felt some sort of connection with someone. I saw them, they noticed me and acknowledge my existence, but they didn’t see me.

I couldn’t get the connection that I wanted because of the walls. I could sense it, but not really get it. I felt like the universe was showing me all the things I desire to have in my life, just to quickly take it away again before I could ever really have it. I felt like I was being punished. I can’t remember when I felt as isolated and alone as I did in those situations.

Yesterday was a tough day, today I am starting to feel better with an understanding of the reason behind those experiences.
Nothing is static, everything is always evolving. That means that I, as well as others, will not feel isolated and alone forever, this too shall pass.

I noticed also that on the vacation, that when men were looking at me, it didn’t satisfy me at all. That is not what I want. I want a deep, mental connection. I don’t want someone coming up to me telling me I look good, while staring at my body. What I want is for someone to look me in my eyes, telling me that I am beautiful, not because of my physical appearance, but because they are seeing me.

Even though I do not see the full picture yet, I know that these experiences are here to help me understand what it is that I am desiring (the flip side to the Law of Attration and why I sometimes feel like I am being punished by the universe). I don’t no how, but I am sure that I am currently being guided in a new direction that will eventually lead me to what it is that I’m desiring, connection.

Source: Sascha Hjort